So that's Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, Blitzen, where's Donner? I've told him before to watch what he eats on Christmas Eve. Why he can't stick to plain old reindeer moss
I don't know? He knows those mushroom things give him wind. And I'll have no cracks from you about you about jet propulsion, Comet. When he gets himself here he can go in front of you. See how you like that.
No, Dasher, we don't need Rudolf tonight, the forecast was clear skies all the way and if that Paul Hudson lets me down it'll be the last yellow jacket he gets from me.
Ah! There you are Donner; you and Blitzen go up in front of Comet and Cupid. I know you usually go at the back but tonight you get a midfield role and no complaining it'll get you nowhere. They
don't call me Steve McClaren and I was the ‘Special One’ before anyone had ever heard of José.
Right, those are all the pre-flight checks. What are we waiting for now, I want time for a cuppa and a few minutes with me feet up before the show begins? Waiting for a wee? Why didn't you go before?
Oh, not that sort of wee. Well what sort of wee are we on about? Oh, it's spelled W… i… i… is it. And what is it when it's at home? A game console, well we've had them before, but they didn't have daft names.
What will next year's be called, a Piddle, a Widdle? Who makes the damn thing? Nintendo, the Japanese. That explains it. Well what's the hold up? Supply shortage! I can't leave a note in all the stockings saying sorry kids Nintendo has a supply shortage. I'm the maker of dreams come true. Kids these days don't go for deferred gratification, it's the best, on the dot or you'll know about it. Yes
like me, in fact, so get your finger out.
Right let's have a look at this damned Wii thing. What's that? It's a wii remote. Well it isn't very big, is it? It acts as a racquet a steering wheel or a weapon. It's not like any steering wheel I've ever seen. And what's that bit, a sensor bar, is that anything like a Mars bar? Bluetooth, is that what you get if you try to eat the sensor bar? Look, Laddie, just show me how it works. We've got time, it seems, till Nintendo come up with the goods.
This is a driving game, is it? Hey, it's quite good, isn't it?
Ouch! Who put that tree there? No, let go, I'm doing it. Don't worry we've got plenty of time. Hey, you reindeer, take a break lads, we're waiting for some last minute stuff, Brrrrm, look at that then.
I've just had a thought. Do you reckon those chaps at Nintendo could make me a driving program for the sleigh? No, not so I could play at it, a real one? Get me their phone number and I'll ring them
in the New Year. Don't you see, next Christmas Eve I can sit at home and deliver all the presents by remote? I can stay in the warm and still get the job done. No more chilblains for me. Now, just one more go at Silverstone. Wheeee!
