Fore, The Relief of Stress.
DON'T PANIC.
If you think you might be suffering from stress, there are a number of things you can do to relieve it.
Take a deep breath and exhale slowly.
Give your arms and neck a stretch to relieve the tension.
Don't try to do more than one thing at a time.
Exercise is a great way to relieve the tension caused by stress.
Right, I thought, I need to get the stress out of my life. I will take more exercise. So, I did and as a result I, learned that stress is a four-letter word. It is spelled G O L F.
I stand on the first tee. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly; at the same time, I give my arms and neck a stretch to release the tension, keep my head still, flex the knees, slowly take away, break the wrists. My smooth swing sends the golf ball soaring into the distance and the trees. Did you know that trees are magnetic? Golf balls, at least those with my mark on them, are attracted to trees. I have taken my first steps towards the release of stress from my life in taking much-needed exercise.
So now I am standing with a tree branch in my left ear and twigs piercing my back. I can swing the club smoothly and easily but only for about a foot before it becomes entangled in undergrowth. Of course, I‘m not stressed - I'm taking exercise. From this tree-hugging position I force the ball clear and watch it roll inexorably towards the bunker.
Sand, as we all know, is a substance which flows. Great dunes slide across the desert altering their shape as waves that sweep the ocean. The sand in bunkers, when I put my ball into them, is transformed. It takes on the consistency of concrete just at that magical moment when liquid becomes solid. I open the club face, strike behind the ball and effortlessly move it from the back of the bunker to the front, just below the lip. I am calm. I am taking exercise. Only three more enervating swings and the ball is back on the grass and only a chip away from the green.
It is an immutable law in my game that if my chip is short of the hole it will stop; if it falls past the hole it will release as easily as stress and run away to the edge of the green. If you think you are really stressed by now, do not underestimate the power of the putt. What a feeling to watch that white sphere rolling unerringly towards that small hole until, triumphantly, it races around the rim, claws its way out and ceases its motion, flashing in the sun, three feet from the hole. I am exercising so I can't be stressed. Breathe deeply, stretch arms and neck.
Please, may I PANIC now?